Lacrosse us at your peril: Durham surrender top spot after narrow loss

Harry Mead reports on the Royal’s unholy battle against county rivals Durham which after white flags from the visitors secured Newcastle a 7-5 victory.

Men’s Lacrosse

Newcastle 1sts 7-5 Durham 2nds

I will begin by saying this. We never gave in. Never. At no point great or small, large or petty, did we surrender, except to convictions of honour and good sense. We didn’t yield to force nor the apparently overwhelming might of our enemy. We were going through hell at times, we kept on going. We will always say this was our finest hour and it will echo in eternity.

On Wednesday 15 February a truly miraculous event occurred. The Newcastle immortals were called upon to end their lonely wonderings amongst the clouds and descend to this mortal plain. Their opponents were the embodiment of darkness and villainy, Durham University Seconds. Or, as they are more locally known, The Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

Their tyranny had up until then been undefeated. However, this was not to be the case for much longer. With the spectacular return of our leader Andrew ‘ the obelisk’ Oliver we were ready for battle. He lead as always by example, seeing no need to beat the Durham defense, Oliver simply wound up and fired shots with such titanic power it was a shock that he only claimed two from the Durham side.

Next of note was Toby ‘The Crusader’ Crow who with the aid of Toby ‘The Hurt’ Hoskins, Nathan ‘Supernova’ Simmonds-Buckley and Phil’ The Pain’ Ellwood, became the immovable object that halted the unstoppable force of Durham’s attack, try as they might to pierce that mighty wall of D they were met only with failure and disappointment. At a certain point, most likely when the defense thought no one was playing, Durham managed to get through to Goalkeeper, Mathew ‘J-Lo’ Jolly. However, this was of little consequence, with the reaction only matched by the speed of light Jolly halted all shots in his path. This is not to say we easily overcame this onslaught, it took every ounce of our immortal blood to keep these monsters at bay.

A being who distinguished himself more than most was a new wonderer amongst our heavens, Andrew ‘The Doom’ Donnelly. This inspiration not only struck fear into the hearts of these mortal creatures with titanic tackles but also caused havoc and discourse in attack by breaking the Durham defense with more ease than one would imagine possible.

Next to emerge was Ben ‘The Beginning, The Middle and The End’ Beattie, recently returned from a routine trip round the world reversing natural disasters.

For once, due to a foul act of despicable play Beattie showed the slightest instance of discomfort. However, although this was short lived, Durham’s punishment for the offence was not. Beattie proceeded to secure two ferocious goals, one of which displayed such power and grace that it brought him and those around it to their knees.

Not to be outdone by the master, Harry ‘The Marauder’ Mead entered the fray. With the reactions of a homeless alley cat raised on the streets he darted round the opposition and let rip a shot so fierce it scorched the net, twice. Although, Alexander ‘The Zodiac’ Michael cannot be forgotten.

With prowess seldom displayed on this earth he pierced the Durham defense like a shooting star, his cut leaving a blazing trail behind him, and fired a shot that seemed to defy the laws of space and time which found the net all to easily. By the third quarter the immortals had a strong hold over these creatures holding a three goal lead.

In the final quarter though, they rallied and with their cold dark hearts pushed us to our limits. With war cries that would turn the hearts of other men they came at us, we answered with blood and sweat. It was brutal and bloody, never in a game of lacrosse have their been so many injuries in so short a time. Rich ‘The Reaper’ Wise made sure to make a point of defiance when he broke the foolish Durham midfield with tackles so horrific their ancestors were in pain.

They say pain is temporary, but theirs will last forever. We held on, even when we were going through hell we fought our way back into the light and emerged victorious. We firmly believe that this was our finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all we held dear. The moment when we had worked our hearts out for a good cause and lay victorious on the field of battle. Final score: Newcastle 7–5 Durham. The scorers: Beattie two, Mead two, Oliver two, Michael one.