So with it being Valentine’s Day this week, I have been tasked with finding the best love songs for the wonderfully corporate holiday. Let’s be honest, love songs are normally terrible and only listened to people who are overdosed in emotions. As a cynical person, I have decided to choose to talk about the love songs you should be serenading to your love one instead of crap like ‘Hero ‘and ‘When You Say Nothing At All’.
Let’s start with everyone’s favourite intergalactic band, GWAR with their 1997 classic ‘I Hate Love Songs’ sang by the bands bassist, Beefcake The Mighty, instead of their fallen leader, Orderus Urungus. For those who are ignorant towards the brilliance that is GWAR, they are a metal band from the planet Scumdoggia who were sent to Earth for smoking too much crack. Some claim they are just men in costumes, but there is not enough evidence to prove this claim. ‘I Hate Love Songs’ is definitely one of GWAR’s more punk inspired songs, sounding more like a Misfits song than their typical savage two guitar heavy metal attacking style. The song touches on things to hate towards many things like Love songs, lovers and wet dreams. Beefcake juxtaposes the lyrics towards the end, talking about all the things he loves like songs about mass destruction and road kill puppies. Truly a valentines classic for all lovers to enjoy this week.
“It captures the softer side of Satan”
The next song I recommend to get you in the Valentines mood is from none other than the godfathers of heavy metal themselves, Black Sabbath. Everyone knows ‘N.I.B’ for it’s brilliant bass solo intro and evil guitar riff, but did you know that this is actually a song about Satan himself falling in love? I mean what’s more romantic than Satan himself falling in love. Not only is the song one of the best metal songs of all time, but it captures the softer side of Satan, one which we unfortunately do not see throughout the bible. It teaches us a wonderful lesson of how even the evil of the world are vulnerable to be infected by love.
The last song I decided to go for was a toss up between two Misfits songs, ‘Die, Die My Darling’ and ‘Dig Up Her Bones’. Although they are both punk rock classics, I had to go with ‘Dig Up Her Bones’, a song I am proud to see I covered at the local church years ago with my short lived band, Burnout (2012-2012 R.I.P). As you can imagine, the song is about a man who has sadly lost his partner. The lyrics talk about how much he misses her, therefore he decides to take drastic action to see her again by digging up her bones. Truly a song with a beautiful message of heartbreak and loneliness, one which will draw tears from the toughest of punks out there.
“Love songs are normally terrible and only listened to by people who are overdosed in emotions”
There you have it, true evidence that there is a love song for everyone, make sure you serenade at least one of these to your partner.