Donald vs Arnold: Trumpment Day

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Twitter feuds. A common part of modern life. Who doesn’t love reading J.K Rowling digitally bitch-slapping Piers Morgan during the down time between ISIS atrocities and Buzzfeed quizzes?

Twitter is a space where private spats are lived out for all to see. Like a refined (to 140 characters) version of The Jeremy Kyle Show. That, like many other things, changed with the coming of “Fascist, loofa-faced shit-gibbon” (Democratic senator Daylin Leach on Twitter, 7th Feb. 2017) known as Donald J. Trump. To recite the full list of ‘The Donald’s’ Twitter foes would require more time, words and sanity than I can give. They range from Rosie O’Donnell, Stephen Colbert, Alec Baldwin, Zeus, Aladdin and the concept of object permanence. The most recent spat instigated by the PRESIDENT OF THE U.S.A (yep, still real) is with his Celebrity Apprentice replacement, action hero and the ‘Governator’ himself, Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Why can’t they just get along? Both are famous, rich, white, male Republican politicians with droves of fans hanging on their every (sometimes incomprehensible) word. It all began back in July when, during the annual Republican National Convention when Schwarzenegger (despite heavy pressure from the RNC establishment) refused to endorse Trump. ‘The Donald’ was apparently very displeased with this apparent show of disloyalty, but held his tongue (for a change).

“Trump’s ego is so bloated that he can’t help but criticise something that will bring him in money. Sad.”

The subject never went completely away but re-entered the mainstream news recently when Trump, during the National Prayer Breakfast, asked the gathered congregation to pray for Schwarzenegger’s ratings. Not Syria, not the poor or ill. Not even the US in general. Just for better Celebrity Apprentice ratings. It fell to the former governor to call out Trump for his actions releasing a video on Facebook proposing that they swap jobs so “Then people can sleep comfortably again”. Remember, Trump not only signed off on his own replacement, he also remains an executive-producer of the show. So the man’s ego is so bloated that he can’t help but criticise something which will bring him in money. Sad.

“Schwarzenegger’s legacy as a movie icon is secured, no matter what success he may have on Celebrity Apprentice

It didn’t stop there, Trump then took to Twitter again after the premier of the first episode of the new season to say “Wow, the ratings are in and Arnold got swamped (or destroyed) by comparison to the ratings machine DJT.” DJT. Really. Sounds like the shittest MC in the world, and who writes with as many brackets as this? (A dick, that’s who). Schwarzenegger responded brilliantly with “I wish you the best of luck and I hope you work for ALL the American people as aggressively as you worked for your ratings”. Burn.

It is important to not forget, however, that during his tenure as Governor of California (2003-2011) the staunch-conservative Schwarzenegger was embroiled in numerous controversies, including a secret second-family, nearly crashing the Californian economy after the 2008 crash as the Nunez scandal. Since leaving The Celebrity Apprentice, Schwarzenegger has announced his return to the movie-biz and currently has six movies in various stages of production. He will turn 70 in July and one has to wonder for how much longer he can continue to portray the tough-guys that made him famous. Regardless, Schwarzenegger’s legacy as a movie icon and action superstar is secured. Donald Trump’s legacy will be discussed and determined by the survivors of ‘The Great Cataclysm’ in-between fending off nuclear-mutated hipsters.

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