We love them, we hate them but we all have them. Nightmare housemates. Now this can come in many forms and if you don’t have at least one then chances are that it’s probably you.
After scouring the internet and a survey around campus, I have discovered a common trend in the horrific ordeal all of us brave enough to moving away from home face every time we leave the comfort of our bedrooms.
After listening to all the tales of terror I have categorised them into 4 major groups:
1. Mr Invisible / anti-socialite / tightwad
Now you may have trouble remembering them since they seem to have gone into hibernation and haven’t left their room in weeks. In fact, the only reason you know they still live there (or you know, that they’re alive) is that they scrimp and steal your stuff in the dead of the night like some sort of ninja. They’re under some assumption that if they never go out, leave us to freeze by refusing to put the heating on and never buy the essentials like milk, toilet paper, bread… secretly stealing yours instead, somehow they’ll manage to stay out of debt. Their stealth skills are almost impressive but who really has time for that annoyance.
“Their stealth skills are almost impressive but who really has time for that annoyance”
2. The slob / the pig / the couch potato
This housemate is carefree, laid back. They don’t have time to worry about the mundane chores of life like cleaning. They’ll no doubt leave a tower of mould infested dishes which have been there for weeks that you’re dying to wash (or bin), especially when they start to use your dishes instead. This is the kind of person who is all up for a house party but the morning after clean up? Not a chance. They’ll be in bed hanging cuddled up to half a left over pizza they were too drunk to remember buying, if you’ve really hit the jackpot they might even be the type to vomit on the floor and just step over it.
“If you’ve really hit the jackpot they might even be the type to vomit on the floor and just step over it ”
3. The party animal / the wannabe DJ / the wildchild
They go out at least 4 times a week, and never for a quite drink either. It’s all out or don’t bother. They love to host pres, playlist at the ready to deafen you with (even though there are only 5 people are sat around the sofa drink in hand). Now when you’re in need of a good night they’re your go to but otherwise who needs 37 snapchats between 2-5am about their amazing night. Thanks but some of us have 9am’s to actually attend. They’ll no doubt wake you up coming in drunk when they’ve lost their keys or by just being a loud mess.
4. The drama queen / the bitch / the dippy one
They make you feel like the parent of the house – did they lock the door? Did they pay their rent? What drama will they get into if I go home? Everyone will think they’re sweet or only joking but you know your friend and you know they have a new pet peeve every day and are the first to jump at an argument. Yet you love them anyway and you’ll always be the shoulder to cry on even though all they do is moan about trivial stuff that really shouldn’t matter and they never want to hear your problems.