You will need:
– A bottle of wine/cans of beer
– Vodka or any other spirit
– Tequila, salt and limes
– A hearty appreciation for jokes about lady-parts
1. Every time someone references the size of Max’s boobs, drink.
Whether it’s Max working her cleavage in THAT black dress, or someone referring to her by breast size alone – take a hearty glug.
2. Take a drink every someone makes a joke about Han’s height.The pint-sized proprietor of the diner is the constant butt of jokes – for additional drunkenness, take a sip every time the other characters insinuate that Han is a virgin.
3. Drink every time Jennifer Coolidge’s Sophia makes a grand entrance. To honour her bizarre sex-symbol status, drink deeply.
4. Take a drink every time Oleg is sexually inappropriate. Self-explanatory, really.
5. Waterfall for the duration of every celebrity guest appearance. Yes, Kim Kardashian counts as a celebrity, here.
6. Every time Max is rude to a diner customer, take a drink. Feel free to gauge the amount by how sassy/cutting Max’s diatribe is. Drink twice if she takes the customers’ food away.
7. Drink whenever Earl references doing drugs. The greater the illegality of said substance(s), the more you drink.
8. Every time Max mentions her terrible mother/absent father, take a drink. Need we say more?
9. Do a sympathetic suicide shot of tequila every time the girls lose money. At the end of each episode (assuming you make it that far,) is a roundup of the girls’ finances – if they make a loss, pour a shot of tequila. Then, snort the salt, squeeze the lime in your eye and drink the tequila in a display of solidarity.
10. Drink every time the horse makes an appearance. All hail Chestnut!
11. Drink every time someone references female masturbation.