With the newest series of I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here! on its way, Helen Daly and Amy Baird provide us with some of our very own, Newcastle-themed Bush-tucker Trials…
The Cage of Horror
Just like locking Gillain McKeith in an underground box of rats, this challenge requires endurance and courage. You must try to endure a full night in the infamous Sinners Cage. While this might seem like a relatively easy trial, you won’t be spending your time alone. Over the course of the night, you will be joined by so many drunk students who all want to take those cage pictures that you’ll end up being crushed against the back being kicked in the face by the most acrobatic of party-goers, fighting for some space to bust your own moves. This one is not for the faint-hearted. Bravery will be essentially.
Bigg Buffet Bonanza
This one is not for the faint-hearted. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, involves a tour of the Bigg Market; but not the one you were maybe expecting. That’s right, this is the infamous eating challenge. As you venture into the depths of Bigg Market, your tastebuds will encounter all kinds of horrors including greasy chips with questionable cheese that may or may not be plastic and kebabs that have little to no real meat inside of them. Just make sure you don’t vomit or your forfeit is to start all over again.
The Brown Ale Bull
Grab yourself not one, but two pints of NBA (that’s Newcastle Brown Ale to those of you who aren’t quite up to speed on the northern lingo) and down both of them, then climb aboard the Sam Jack’s rodeo bull. Ride for at least 30 seconds without falling off or being sick to pass the trial. An extra star if you take advantage of the cheap trebles before beginning the trial.
The Balance Beams
This trial will test your skill, balance and determination. You’re at Bierkeller with a couple of steins in hand. To complete this trial, all you need to do is stay on the benches until it closes. During the task, you will encounter a number of challenges trying to knock you off. A stampede of a hen party trying their best to get on the bench, the challenge of doing Gingham Style on a relatively small piece of wood and getting soaked in what you hope is beer all combine together to make this a very tricky challenge indeed. Sensible shoes at the ready.
Dancing with the Stars
Take three shots (not for the faint hearted, but brownie points if you do 3 different spirits) then enlist five different people in a slut drop to pass this trial. Boys, this includes you. For part two, grab your favourite partner in crime – for the rest of the night you’ll taking on the identity of everyone’s favourite Newcastle presenters and introducing yourself as Ant and Dec for the rest of the night (complete with Geordie accent – Southerners get the extra challenge of trying not to get beaten up for taking the piss).
The Ice Trek
Picture the scene: you’ve spent a lovely, winter’s evening dancing until you can dance no more at Digital and you’ve lost track of time. As you leave the club at 3am, you were gleefully unaware that a snow storm had been brewing; just when you thought Newcastle couldn’t get any colder, you suddenly understand what locals mean when they describe the weather as ‘baltic’. It’s during times like these that you will wish you just paid the extra money to live in Sandyford, instead of being the smug one saving money in High Heaton. You ring every taxi company you can think of but no luck. The trial starts now: you must make your way home, battling the snow and ice, all without a coat. Good luck, my friend.
The night is drawing to a close on our Bushtucker Trial, and we wouldn’t want to send you home without some good ole scran. Drag yourselves to Munchies and order a naughty 12” London pizza coated in cheese and garlic sauce. This is really the task that keeps on giving, since you’ll probably be waking up next to the remains of your meal tomorrow morning. Devour the entire thing and gan ‘yem in one piece to conclude the task.