Rant of the Week: Christmas haters

It’s the most wonderful time of the year; a plague on anyone who dares to suggest otherwise. The music, the presents and general goodwill celebrated throughout this entire season, culminating in the birth of Christ and the best turkey dinner imaginable, are only a few of many reasons why Christmas is so magical to me and to anyone with a any semblance of a heart.

It physically upsets me to hear people call me “childish” for enjoying a little Christmas spirit. So what if I’m wearing Christmas jumpers in early November? What’s it to them if I blare Mariah Carey at full volume on repeat as I merrily sip mulled wine and binge-eat mince pies? Just because for most of us over 18s Father Christmas has long since retired, it doesn’t mean that we are no longer permitted to enjoy this holiday season and all the presents, food, booze and happiness it brings.

Don’t complain about Christmas crowds and sweaty shopping; it’s all about attitude. Instead, march into Eldon Square with what’s left of your student loan and get Christmassy! Giving is just as good, if not better, than receiving presents; and dont tell me that you don’t “believe” in giving presents because it feeds the corporate poison which has managed to seep into everything good in the world. Let’s not allow the pure magic of Christmas to be consumed by the swirling vortex of corporate consumerism, like Halloween and Valentine’s Day before it; let’s just continue to enjoy it as much as possible.

“T’is the season to be jolly…any Grinch I spy needs to watch their step”

But if you think it’s “cooler” to be aloof and above all the people spreading Christmas cheer, then that’s fine. Feel free to sit alone in your dark, cold, spiritless house and obnoxiously parade a cactus instead of a Christmas tree. Go ahead, ignore with cold and Scrooge-like condescension the carol singers at your door as you determinedly scroll through channels to avoid Christmas specials on TV. Just don’t come crying to me when the block of ice around your heart begins to melt and the turkey cravings kick in. Or better yet, do; because that’s exactly what Christmas is about, sharing goodwill and being generous with everything- love, presents, and that second helping of honey-roasted parsnips.

So, a message to all the green, long-fingered, Christmas-hating creatures who lurk in the dark spots between Christmas lights: t’is the season to be jolly, god dammit, and any Grinch I spy needs to watch their step.This year, rather than changing the radio station upon hearing the first strains of “Fairytale of New York”, sit through it and try, just try, not to join in. We all ought to adopt a “Buddy the Elf” outlook, and instead of sneering at those who enjoy the season, give it a go ourselves. Grab some tinsel and a good attitude. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

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