Rant of the Week: The Friendzone

We’ve all been there. One of your mates starts to get uncomfortably close to you in the club forcing you to duck away and claim ‘I need to find my friend…’ before running away. Or they start asking you if you ‘want to get a coffee sometime’ in which case you never open the message and swear you never received it if they ask.

We’ve all received unwanted attention and I don’t know about anyone else but I really don’t know how to deal with it. Thus the ‘friendzone’ was created. This seemed like an easy way out for girls as we could easily let these boys down while remaining friends with them, avoiding any hurt feelings. However, what at first seemed like a haven soon turned into a living nightmare.

The ‘friendzone’ – Basically this is when a guy asks a girl out and she rejects him by saying she only sees him as a friend or the other way round. According to the trusted academic source that is the Urban Dictionary ‘one common example of this is girls will reject a nice guy, and date douche-bags, all the while complaining to the nice guy and saying things like “Why can’t all guys be like you?”’. But who is this ‘nice guy’ this keyboard warrior is talking about? In the eyes of the internet the ‘nice guy’ is almost like a heroic figure, the equivalent of Russell Crowe in ‘Gladiator’. He never gets the girl despite his best efforts and carries the kind of traits you would expect to see in every character Hugh Grant has ever played: chivalry, kindness, honour and a dose of awkwardness. With attributes like these who could ever turn this boy down?

“In the eyes of the internet, the ‘nice guy’ is almost like a heroic figuure, the equivalent of Russell Crowe in ‘Gladiator’”

However, that’s exactly what happens. The object of the ‘nice guys’ desires, on a path of self-destruction, turns down his advances and chooses the promo boy who enjoys ‘getting ketty’ every weekend instead. This all makes her look like a bit of an idiot. But if we really look at this ‘nice guy’ though, isn’t he just like any other boy that’s up for a quick Netflix and chill?

Somehow the ‘friendzone’ has become a way to make women feel guilty for not wanting to just cop off with anyone, while making the men involved like martyrs – falling in their pursuit of getting laid. The only difference between the ‘nice guy’ and the ‘bad guy’ is that the ‘bad guy’ is straightforward about his intentions and lets it be known that he’s a bit of a tool. Whereas the ‘nice guy’ covers it up by putting on a fake persona and gets really passive aggressive if they’re rejected.

“The only difference between the ‘nice guy’ and the ‘bad guy’ is the ‘bad guy’ is more straightforward about his intentions”

The ‘nice guy’ is really one of those people that demands to be paid back that 50p you borrowed for some gum. He’s that person that draws a line on his milk bottle after every time he’s used it so he can tell if someone else has stolen some. He’s that guy that won’t say ‘thank you’ when you hold a door open for him.

Maybe instead of making girls into the spawn of Satan for having the audacity to reject you, you should just forget about it and move on because this whole ‘friendzone’ thing is very annoying and inconvenient for everyone involved.

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