Salty Classics

Errol Kerr gives his opinions on classic literature.

What classic do you tell everyone to read, and why?
It’s not necessarily an older classic, but I insist everyone reads Mark Haddon’s The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time. It’s a beautiful novel, and rarely do you see an interpretation of Aspergers’ Syndrome that isn’t straight-up savant. I insist you all read it before coming to speak to me again.

What’s the most overhyped classic?

To be honest, I’m sick to death of Wuthering Heights. A well-written novel, sure, but you’ve got heaps of abusive relationships and Heathcliff’s a nasty piece of work. Like, how is this such a well-received novel regarding romance when all the men are dicks?!

What classic do you lie about having read?

I was meant to study Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar in… one of my years doing my undergraduate. I don’t remember which one, because I never actually read it. Having to study books completely kills them for me. I plan to read it soon, though, now I don’t have to look at it and analyse it.

“I ship Jay Gatsby and the ocean in Moby Dick. Go swim, you capitalist dick”


Snog, marry, kill the characters in the last classic you read.

So, I re-read Les Miserables, because I enjoy putting myself through shit. Snog Enjolras – passionate revolutionaries do things to me – Marry Fantine, mainly because she’s just such a caring human being and I just want to tell her things will be okay – and kill the Thenardiers. Both of them. Rake to the face. Do not like at all.


From two different classics, what is your likely ship?
Jay Gatsby and the ocean in Moby Dick. Go swim, you capitalist dick.

No no, hang on, in all honesty I’d quite like to see the hilarious combination of two children’s books – Bilbo Baggins from Tolkien’s The Hobbit being best friends with Roald Dahl’s titular BFG would be hilarious. Imagine the levels of awkward.

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