SOAPBOX

SNAP-EXCESS

We’ve all seen it happening and, to be honest, we’ve all at one point or another been guilty of filming mindless videos to confirm to everybody that you’re having a good time. I’m talking of course about Snapchat stories. It’s social laziness that, at best, is merely indirectly letting people know what you’re doing without you actually socially interacting at all.

I simply cannot comprehend why people feel the need to have their happiness validated by others. If you’re having a good time enjoy it, experience it with those around you, forget attempting to justify your fun through the medium of a screen.

It’s symbolic of the social media obsessed culture we live in. You view highlights of people’s lives through apps such as Snapchat and by doing so demean what you are currently doing. It’s pointless. If you want to speak to someone, make the effort, call them. If you want to enjoy yourself, that’s never going to happen through the medium of someone’s else’s blurry 10 second video captioned “Sik Nite #Toon”. Get out there yourself.

By Robin Richards

IN ROBBO WE TRUST

It’s only now I’m at university that I understand how dire my local library is. It’s particularly scarce on German epic poems. You wouldn’t believe the bother I had trying to find the Nibelungelied the other day. The woman behind the desk had her mind blown when my query wasn’t about a bag of Wotsits stuck in the vending machine.

“I’m looking for a book.” “Oh.” “Can you help me?” “Yes?”

I’ve never been particularly comfortable in my own skin, so asking about a book Adolf Hitler quite liked was always going to make me wriggle. My neck flushed red. It got worse when she asked how to spell it: “N-I. No. N-I-E. No. Have you got a pen and paper?”

After telling her it was a translation, and therefore more likely to be in prose, she located it on the system. “Got it.” “Is it in stock?” “No.” “When is it due back?” We threw it out.” “Oh.”

I found it in the Robinson Library and shared some banter with the librarian. “Light reading?” Those tuition fees  are paying for themselves.

By Adam Thompson

MOST THINGS

God, everything’s a bit annoying isn’t it? Like nothing really in particular, but just …things.  I think I’ve just become a grumpy old git who has nothing better to do than whinge on about any bloody thing. But I’m right, most things are a bit naff: airplane meals, coach trips, 9am seminars, slippery pizzas (I dropped one on my last night out), that reminds me…disappointing nights out – even EastEnders has been rubbish lately.

Honestly, open your eyes realise that most things are so annoying – overexaggeration, I think not! Like, stop being so optimistic and get cynical, being all cheerful about something you know is going to go to pot. Honestly, things are so much better here on the sark side. If you really want my advice, I’d recommend lowering your expectations, just accept that your plans probably won’t go to plan, and aim for something much more manageable. That way, you’ll be much less likely to be disappointed, and therefore you won’t bemoan most things like your good friend Jack here so often does.

By Jack Parker

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