The Rules of Cool

It is a common misconception that being cool is something people are just born with, but after reading this short article you will be left with the tools you need to release your inner chill and finally become the best version of you. 

Firstly and most importantly it is crucial to understand that confidence is key. At no point ever let it cross your mind that you aren’t in fact cool and it might all, in fact, be in your head, just keep reassuring yourself that you are a winner at life.

When you sit at home on your throne, just know that you can achieve whatever you want. You can predict the outcome of any Come Dine With Me or Four in a Bed that comes your way. No biggy. You have a shelf dedicated to alcohol which you display like a line of trophies. And what? All you need to do is sit and survey your Jesmond Kingdom patiently waiting for good things to happen.

“A wave, a smile, wink, even shoot a few slick air pistols to the people who really look like the cool cats in town”

When you make that walk into Uni let people know, whether that’s a snap on your story that all your fans can screenshot or just a simple tweet so everyone can know that you are about to hit the streets.

As you strut on your way to the library, make sure that you acknowledge all your fellow pedestrians, whether you know them or not. A wave, smile, wink, even shoot a few slick air pistols to the people who really look like the cool cats in town. The chances are by the time you reach the library you will have picked up a couple second years trailing your path who are just looking for an idol to follow.

It is also important to believe that no matter what room you enter, you have the best music taste by far. And every time you enter a pres, it is simply your duty to plug in your own playlist and bless everyone with your music wisdom.

As the night progresses and you head out, convince yourself that you know everyone and can jump a queue into a club and squeeze in next to one of your buds. Funnily enough you then just happen to know the guy on the door and so you waltz in and head straight behind the decks. You do a cheeky set or two before you realise you have accidentally just broken into the club, the guy on the door was in fact the usual homeless man and your set just involved playing Justin Beiber over and over again whilst the DJ fetches a bouncer to have you removed.

“All you need to do is sit and survey your Jesmond Kingdom and wait for good things to happen”

And so you come crashing down to reality that maybe you aren’t as cool as you once thought. But being truly cool you are able to give the middle finger to these thoughts and swagger on over to Chicken Hut. You know that at least there you can be truly appreciated as the man behind the counter is just waiting for you to come and brighten his evening and hear yet another one of your hilarious stories.

The next morning when you’re walking back in complete daylight just blind the judgemental passers-by with your sass. Boy or girl, just own every step and make them truly understand the phrase ‘don’t hate me because you ain’t me’.

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