Your Best Worst Friends

It’s November, which means you’ve being living with your flatmates for almost 2 months. Whether you’re a fresher and are living with a group of people randomly selected by a computer programme or you chose to live with these people, you probably hate them by now, and that’s okay.

The most irritating thing your flatmates can do is steal your food. We’re not just talking a dash of milk or butter for their toast, by now they’ve got more adventurous and have started stealing more controversial items, you’ll start to find your bread running out at double speed, your block of cheese (which is expensive stuff) is half the size you left it and all you ever seem to have is dregs of fruit juice even though you only made the trip to Tesco yesterday.

    Student loans are beginning to run dry after your flatmates have spent the past few months, endlessly buying trebles around the toon and then not being able to afford their food shop. The problem with all these stolen snacks is exacerbated by the fact that your flat mates probably don’t clear up the mess they make after preparing your food for their meals. Your communal kitchen work surfaces are covered in crumbs, old butter knives and there’s a stack of unwashed plates in the corner, none of which are yours yet you still have to live in the chaotic crockery pile left, as your pride is still in tact so why should you have to clean up again?

“You’ll start to find your bread running out at double speed, your block of cheese (which is expensive stuff) is half the size you left it and all you ever seem to have is dregs of fruit juice even though you only made the trip to Tesco yesterday”

You can’t escape your flat mates presence in the bathroom either. If you’re lucky enough to have your own, do not take it for granted as as soon as you start sharing facilities, its all going down hill again. You’ve gotten past the polite stage of people never forgetting to buy toilet roll or rinse the shower out after use, you’re all pretty comfortable now but that’s no reason why you have to always keep a spare loo roll in your room just in case or come out the shower hairier than you went in (if you catch my drift).

  These common courtesies are not difficult yet still seem to slip your flatmates mind adding to the list of why you hate them. You think you’d be safe in your room, the one place they can’t make messy or get away with not cleaning, your untouchable space where everything is as you want it. Yet your flatmates will work they’re way in somehow to annoy you even further.

“To top it all off, you’ve probably slept with one of them and it’s all gone wrong so that bumping into them in their towel coming out of the shower is literally the last thing that you want to see”

  Your work load is on the increase which means less time going out and getting (responsibly) drunk and more time stressfully sat at your desk trying to finish your essay which you left to the last minute just because. But your flatmates being the reliably annoying people they are, don’t understand this and insist on pre-drinking in your flat, so they’re poor music taste blaring through the thin walls means you can’t focus. They’ll probably then follow this by stumbling back in just after you’ve managed to sleep and banging on your door at stupid o’clock in the morning to tell you just how much they love you and that they’re sorry for stealing your milk.

  To top it all off, you’ve probably slept with one of them and it’s all gone wrong so that bumping into them in their towel coming out of the shower is literally the last thing that you want to see, so there’s rarely a tension free moment. Especially when your other flatmates know all about this (walls are thin in student houses and people love to talk) and like to ‘gently rib’ you when enforcing a game of ‘Never Have I Ever’ at pres and making everything 10 times worse, (still too soon guys, ALWAYS too soon).

Even though you know that you love them really, and have already signed next year’s housing contract, it makes it more than okay to also hate them.

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